The Grammy’s Confuse Me

Does anyone sing by themselves any more? Fergie & John Legend, Beyonce & Tina Turner, Carrie Underwood & her weave, Kanye & the chip on his shoulder.  One or two is cool but every performance? I’m sure the poor intern that thought it up never imagined it would get so wildly out of control. Do they sit in their planning meeting & discuss what ackward pairings they can make this year? Do you think Rihanna even knew who Morris Day was before this show? She was still in diapers when he was proclaiming “Do you know what time it is??!!!” Not like you couldn’t detect on her face or in her performance her lack of enthusiasm to be performing with him. I’m sure she was thinking “I could be performing with Tina Turner too if I were screwing JayZ. I will get you Beyonce!!!” (on a side note, who did Alicia Keys screw to get to perform twice?).

The entire show confused me. From Carrie Underwood’s S&M meets Stomp version of “Before He Cheats” to the down right creepy & disturbing Cirque De Soweird Beatles tribute show excerpt. When I didn’t feel like slitting my wrists, I felt like I was at the Tony Awards. There were so many over the top performances. I can definitely see Beyonce & Tina’s performance headlining Vegas next year. It was so cabaret that I half expected their drag queen counterparts to join them on stage (or maybe they were the drag versions performing???).

Best Piano Bar Performance goes to: Fergie & John Legend

Best Cougar Performance: Whoever performed with Kid Rock

Best outperforming performance in a performance: Alicia Keys out singing John Mayer (couldn’t even hear the poor guy)

Best chance of landing a Superbowl halftime show in 20 years: Foo Fighters

Best performance by a jilted Grammy host: Jason Bateman

I thoroughly enjoyed Kanye West’s performances. I also thought Amy Winehouse did well all things considered. I was half expecting her to pull a Britney & perform all drugged up, curse & flip us all off via satellite.